Over the past couple of days

Happy Thursday, naturalista’s! How has your week been so far? Good I hope. Its almost the weekend, so hang in there. One more day. 🙂

This is going to be kind of a random post. Just wanted to share a few photos with you ladies of my past couple of days.

So, anyone who knows me or follows me knows I am the biggest advocate for two things:

1. Jesus

2. Natural Hair 

3. Inspiration Quotes

Im a pretty simple chick. 😉 Last week I went to a ball game in Downtown Detroit, in which I came across the most beautiful graffiti.

Image

I was so inspired. Had to take a picture. What do you think?

Then the other day, I got a Starbucks and you know how Oprah Winfrey is doing a campaign now with the chai tea? (What doesn’t she do? Or own? I swear lol) and it just really inspired me.

Image

“Live from the heart of yourself. Learn to be whole, not perfect.” – Oprah Winfrey. I have to say, this quote really got me through this week. I have been super stressed out lately, just with my job, finances, relationships and the fact that I always strive for perfection has been hindering me in those three areas. Reading this quote and allowing it to resonate was really impactful. Its just awesome how God works sometimes, even through something as simple as this.

Thanks, guys! This was kind of a random post. Share your comments and thoughts below! What are some of your favorite quotes, scriptures? What has been getting you through your week?

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”

photo 2 (1)

 

But, I love you… (Continued)

Image

But wait… I love you.

The word “delivered” was all I saw across my phone screen. My heart was beating rapidly. I was staring at this lock screen of mine… Studiously. I didn’t know why I was so nervous. I didn’t know why I was so petrified. I guess I waiting for confirmation that I was the one.

Fingers tapping, mortified. It had taken me ages to tell this man that he was the love of my life.  

I fell in love with a man at the age of 18, in New York City while I was away at theatre school. Countless nights we spent listening to neo soul, talking about love, making it, but not actually
 devoted.

Morals that were instilled in me growing up? Gone. My heart was now where my mind used to be. Every time he went away, it felt like my heart went with him. We said goodbye in the middle of an empty train station.

I didn’t know it would be the last time I ever saw him. It was as though my heart went with him on the train that day… all the way back to Brooklyn. Needless to say, I never got it back.

Until one day, I woke up. “I have to call him.”

It had taken me THREE YEARS to make the decision to reconnect with him. Chris, is his name… and tell him I still loved him. The memories we shared were affecting my focus. They were affecting my work. They were affecting my ability to allow myself to love someone else. They CONSUMED me.

Shocked that I still loved him? Understatement. Reluctantly, he said he still loved me back. An air of relief. A HUGE weight was lifted from my shoulders. I knew my instinct wouldn’t lead me wrong. He said he loved me back
 I knew I was the one for him.

Until one day, the texts stopped. The calls stopped. Come to find, he reconnected with HIS true love
 whom became his fiancé. I told him I loved him too much for this to be happening. I even told him I was the one, not her. I told him I thought I would be the one saying I do at the alter.

His final words to me were “Dude, you are all in your feelings. Move on.”

The word “read” was across my phone screen, after countless “I hate you” messages and “You lied, you never loved me.” read sent. My heart was beating rapidly. I was starting at this text thread of mine
 Studiously. I didn’t know why I ever loved him. I didn’t know why I let it get to this point
 I guess I was waiting to see if this was true love.

I’ve never felt a pain so sharp. I’ve never felt a heartache so wounding. I told myself I couldn’t live without him. But look at me
 here, living.

Life is a funny thing. You really think you can’t live without someone… Until, you start living. And you realize, you’ll be fine. You will be TOTALLY fine.

 Have you ever had a first love? What did it take for you to move on? Share your thoughts and comments below! 

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”

Check it out: 23 Things I Still Can Do After Getting Married at 22

Check it out: 23 Things I Still Can Do After Getting Married at 22

I am not knocking this response, but BOY do I agree.

Who says that just because you are married young, you miss out on all the things life has to offer? Society has placed such a stigma on young marriage. Marriage does not mean BONDAGE… Just some food for thought. And shout out to MOST of my friends who are 22 and engaged! You guys rock! 

“God where is my Boaz?” by Stephan Labossiere; Highly Recommended!

Image

So, the holidays are over. You gained fifteen pounds, you may or may not have spent large amounts of time with family, and you witnessed all of your friends get engaged. Literally. I don’t know about you, but most of my twitter and Facebook timelines were encompassed by massive amounts declarations of engagements. No shade.
 
Christmas day I was sitting on the couch, surrounded by tons of family, finding myself having to constantly answer questions of why I am not married yet, or where my “man” is at. Hello! I am a 20 – something! Shouldn’t you be asking how my career life is going, school, or something a tad bit more measurable? Sigh.
 
Before you starting talking
 Im not bitter! Marriage is a beautiful thing. Its just
 When is it my turn? Im pretty, smart, and not dependent on anyone else to take care of me. I have a car. I have my own place. Shoot, I’m a good catch! So when will it be my turn… *Kneels to pray* God
 Where is my Boaz?

“God, where is my Boaz?” written by Relationship Expert/Love Coach Stephan Labossiere is an Amazon bestseller, along with a Woman’s guide to understanding what is keeping her from achieving the Love she Deserves. Image

Image

Yeah. He’s fine.

Minus the typical three step formula, this book takes a deeper look into why certain single women spend so much time and energy concerned about finding a man, as opposed to taking that energy and effort and focusing more on her walk with God. This book helps you learn how to Chase God, not Boaz.

“God, where is my Boaz?” is a very quick read, each chapter compartmentalized making it easy to follow; very practical. 

Stephan states; “These aren’t tips and tricks on how to get a man. This book will assist you in taking a deeper look within which will help you prepare and position yourself for the love and man that is truly best for you.”

From a Christian, spiritual perspective, this self – help book dives into the questions that many single women have today; Why haven’t I met my husband yet? Why aren’t I married? Will I ever get married? And the never-ending question that most Christian women come to terms with, “Where is my Boaz?”

The term Boaz derives from the word “swiftness”, used in the Bible times as the “swiftness of a horse”. In the bible, in the book of Ruth, Boaz is the man who marries Ruth, a widowed Maobite daughter with endless faith and loyalty to her sister Naomi. After lots of “swooning” as we would call it nowadays, Boaz continued to pursue Ruth, and they eventually married.

What makes Boaz stand out and be this man that we desire is he never gave up. In the book of Ruth, He saw Ruth in the field, he saw a challenge, he knew what he wanted, and he went after her; no questions asked. He said he wanted to marry her, and kept his word. Boaz has become the epitome of what women want in a man; a man that keeps his word and knows what he wants.

Stephan states, “In this book, I’m going to help bring clarity to the internal struggle you’ve been enduring. I‘ve been led to provide insight into the things hindering your progression in relationships. The goal is to assist women with moving in a more positive direction in their love life, and their personal relationship with God.”

And man, let me tell you: He did JUST THAT.

When I first began reading this book, I was very pleased. Having read many relationship self-help books in the past, especially Christian ones, and I was under the impression that “God, where is my boaz?” might consist of a lot of “you need to do” this and “you aren’t doing that” critiques on women and why they are single. Reading on, I was pleasantly surprised. “God where is my Boaz” is more than a self-help book, it’s a book that leads women to the self – actualization and awareness of why we are single, how we can focus on our relationship with God as opposed to “finding us a man”, and how our Boaz will come, with the right attitude and faith in God.

 I would highly recommend this book to any woman of any faith who is looking to find their true match. It takes the story of Ruth and Boaz from a very practical standpoint, and breaks it down in terms we can all understand, while in the preparation stages of finding our true love.

You can purchase “God, where is my Boaz?” on Amazon and Barnes and Noble Bookstores. It is available for paperback, kindle and audio! Check it out bloggers; Man or woman, I highly recommend this. I reviewed it on Amazon; still going through review, I will make sure to share that with you guys as soon as it is posted.

You can also check out Stephan Labossiere’s website, filled with tons of relationship advice for men and women, whether single or married and spiritual guidance! Awesome relationship expert/love coach that definitely reps for the ladies. 🙂 Link will be posted below.

Image

Thanks! Share your thoughts and comments below.

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”

Visit Stephan Labossiere’s website! http://www.stephanspeaks.com 

 

Light Skin vs. Dark skin: Are we at Race War with OURSELVES?

Image
So, I came across a very compelling article the other day on the web. It was entitled, “10 Unnacceptable cycles Black People have to change.” I will make sure to have the link will be posted below.
The title immediately grabbed my attention, I had to see what this was all about! Scrolling through the list, I saw the cliche stereotypes that our race does seem to hold true such as poverty, crime, sexual promiscuity (For clarification, I am not saying other cultures cannot be held accountable to these stereotypes as well), etc. I came across the eighth thing on the list which was as follows: “Intra racial discrimination”.
Below its title, it stated “We are one community made of up various colors. At no time should we place one complexion over another. Without divisiveness, we are a force.”
 
Powerful. I began to ponder
 what did they mean by this? I immediately began to think of all of the “Light skin” vs. “Dark skin” memes I have been witnessing lately. Are we at a stage in our history in which one complexion within black culture gets preferential treatment over the other? Interesting, right.
To fully understand intraracial discrimination and the skin color paradox/color complex within the African American community is an issue that I not only feel very strongly about, but it needs to be addressed.

The United States of America is known WORLDWIDE as the melting pot, made up of various cultures, races, religions, and backgrounds. While in some cultures, diversity isn’t typically embraced as freely, but here? We embrace it, we live it. And it hasn’t always been this way, especially in African American culture.

From the time period in which slavery was abolished, to the Civil Rights movement, to electing our FIRST EVER African American president of the United States, our country has come a long way. Although racism, as we know it, is still present, it is not necessarily PREVALENT. But there is a question that comes to mind… What is the actual meaning behind “racism?”

Sure, there is Racism as we know it, which can be defined by Google as “The belief that all members of each Race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that Race, esp. so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.” This includes stereotypes against races, discriminating against other races, religions, or others who we think are drastically different than us, in a way that we are not accustomed to.
 Historically, you could argue that lighter skinned African-Americans get preferential treatment over darker skinned African-Americans, because they are seen as being closer to white. Unfortunately lighter people have received preferential treatment throughout the years, especially when it comes to educational, employment, and social opportunities. This standard that light-skinned people are treated better than other complexions has inevitably created a divisive skin color paradox, with serious psychological repercussions.
For example, this whole “Light skins be like” and “Dark skins be like” trend on Instagram and other social media avenues. Sure, this trend started off as jokes that DO IN FACT hold truth, but are we discriminating against our own race?
Image
If I see a African American of a lighter complextion in passing, do I automatically assume they don’t reply to texts, or are more emotional? Is it meant to be light hearted, or is it new age racism?
And don’t even get me started on this whole Drake thing. Saying he’s emotional because he’s light skinned, or that he’s “soft” and everything. Again, these assumptions and stereotypes do hold some truth to them, but when is enough ENOUGH? Are we taking these jokes too far? Is someone bound to get offended? Is it fair to say that we are discriminating against our OWN RACE?
There is no right or wrong answer to this never-ending question; just facts, thoughts, feelings and emotions.  This topic has been heavy on my heart and I would love to hear your comments and thoughts below.
Are we at a race war with ourselves?
Thanks guys!
Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.” 

In the end…

Image

“In the end, only three things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”

Some food for thought.

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”