Is my natural hair pretty enough?

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Does wearing our hair in its natural state come with insecurities? Does it make us feel less than a woman, or too bold? Do we like wearing it? Do we feel comfortable and CONFIDENT wearing it, whether its in a twist out or a massive fro’? Do we care if our man likes it? If our job likes it?

Whats the deal with all this… hair?

I was on a double date a couple weeks ago with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend, and the topic of natural hair came up. Now, my friend and I are both naturalista’s and loving it, so of course when the boys decided to bring this up, our antenna’s went up. “You know, I just think Natural Hair looks very… natural. Sometimes it can look unkept” says her boyfriend. Humph.

“Yes, I met Lizz when she had her hair straight. Thats how she got me.” said my date. Humphhhhhh.

Now, they of course were being super playful… but you know how the saying goes. Theres always a little bit of truth to every “JK.”

No honestly…My friend and I of course laughed it off. Guys were just being guys, being silly. No big deal. But the question popped into my head of, not only do guys REALLY like natural hair, but is my natural hair pretty enough? Is it curly enough? Is it beautiful enough?

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(my three day old wash and go) – kinks and all! 😉

I think as naturals, its “natural” for us to desire another hair type, or curl type or pattern. For me, when I first started my natural hair journey, I wanted to be a 3c curl type so bad. I adored the loose curls and perfectly defined coils that I thought every natural just HAD to have. I didn’t understand why, when I would do my wash and go’s, they didn’t look very curly, or why my curl pattern would be different in different parts of my hair.

I thought every single strand, curl and coil on my head had to be perfect.

I didn’t understand why, when I used certain hair products that were supposed to have “strong hold” or give me “perfect curls”, that I wasn’t looking like these curly girls. And the answer was simple… their hair is not my hair. And my hair is not theirs.

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Me this past weekend on my wash day! Tried some new products. Will do a wash regimen post later this week. 🙂

Wearing your hair in its natural state isn’t some new phenomenon, or a “new” way to wear your hair. Its how you were born. You don’t “go natural”… you “return” to natural.

Every journey, regardless of what type of journey whether it has to do with weight loss, or overall improving your performance at a certain task or lifestyle, will include ups and downs. It will include kinks, that you may have to work out (excuse the pun) and insecurities and differences you have to overcome. But thats what makes it a journey. And a beautiful one at that.

This post is not some step by step method to overcoming insecurities, or how to make your natural hair prettier… but just to give us some encouragement and inspiration! STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR HAIR LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSES. Trust me, there is no product out there that will do such. Your hair is your hair, and for that reason, you should love it and love yourself.

What do you love about your natural hair? What makes it stand out, and set apart from other naturalista’s?

Share your thoughts and comments below!

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”

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How to refresh second day hair in three easy steps!

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Ever wake up in the morning and can’t figure out how your second day hair got so frizzy and dry? Ever wanna just pick it out, without worrying about having to rewet it or wash your hair over?
I am sure that this is every natural hair girls dilemma…how do you achieve a nice, simple, second day or third day hairstyle after your style has been depleted?
Today was one of those days. I woke up LOOKING CRAZY, but did not want to wash my hair over. To remedy this, I decided to refresh my hair using water in a spray bottle, my favorite styling product, some coconut oil and a pick.
Here is a three step formula in which I got my second day hot mess to look half way decent:
1. Spritz the areas of your hair in which you want to reshape
When I woke up this morning, my curls in my crown area were pretty much gone, while I had a few curls towards the back of my hair and the sides. I decided to spritz the crown area of my hair with water using a spray bottle, as well as the back of my hair due to severe dryness. The crown area of my hair seems to maintain moisture more so than the back, so I VERY LIGHTLY spritz the crown area, and gave the back of my hair more moisture. This step is important when reshaping because before you style, you want to make sure your hair isn’t super dry.
2. Apply your favorite styling product to desired area
The styling product I used for my hair is the Olive Oil Smooth N Hold Pudding. Best stuff ever when you are trying to achieve a style without a gel like hold. The smooth and creaminess of this product is perfect if you are trying to achieve a style without super defined curls, like an afro or a bantu knot. I simply took a dime sized amount of product and applied it to the desired areas of my hair. I did not SLAP the product on — I applied the product to my hair and finger raked it into my hair to make the product is distributed evenly.
Otherwise, the product would have just been sitting on my hair and that ain’t cute.
3. Pick it out, moisturize and style as preferred!
I love picks, y’all. Like, I LOVE PICKS. #teampicks!
Seriously, they are life savers, especially if you are a 4a doily chick who suffers severely from shrinkage. To use a pick, all you do is stick in it the root of your hair, gently lift the root and the ROOT only – I say root only because you want to make sure that you are not actually taking the pick to the end of your curl, otherwise you will ruin the curl pattern; you simply want to stretch your roots to stretch your hair out. You repeat those steps across your whole head until your hair looks the way you want it to look and ta da! You are done, and ready to go.
Don’t forget to take your favorite oil and moisturize your hair, to seal in the moisture. For this style, I used the spectrum unrefined coconut oil. Its like, $12 bucks at your local grocery store and works like a charm. Quick tip: When purchasing coconut oil, always make sure its UNREFINED. Since coconut oil works in different instances, you want to make sure that it is as pure and unprocessed as possible. Refined coconut oil is used to withstand medium to hot temperatures while cooking. Since you are simply using this to seal in moisture, you want to make sure it is unrefined. Always. 🙂
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Thanks guys. Share your thoughts and comments below!

Always remember: You are Fearfully, Wonderfully and “Beautifully mane.”